When I was younger I was petrified of death; how one day everyone around me would succumb to it’s wrath and all of Life would continue on. I moved forward when I began to meditate and realized its not worth consuming My Being if I am alive and living now, it’s coming but who cares when; Carpe Diem.
Two daze ago I fell back into those thoughts and I didn’t understand why so I indulged in alcohol to escape for a few hours and when I closed my eyes for the night I dreamt of Celina. It’s been months if not a year since I last dreamt of Her, she was waking into the Light that time but in this dream She was older, dancing around an old friend Happy and at Peace. When I awoke I was so happy and grateful I was alive and full of Life I am living for Us both now. Yesterday, I dreamt of My Grandma; it’s been years since Ive dreamt of Her; tssss I cannot even begin to explain the void in My Being because She is gone. We were at a party drinking and having a good time! I held Her in my arms so tightly giving her beer after beer. I explained how much I’ve missed Her and she smiled the biggest I’d ever seen Her smile since I was born. I awoke feeling so grateful She existed in My Life; tho She’s not here physically She’s alive in My Heart and Being.
I cannot believe how easily death comes and goes without a moments notice but everyday I am grateful to be here even though I’m surrounded by constant grief and sorrow to be alive and existing for this moment is truly worth it all.