I’m on a porch
Above a Crescent Moon;
Smoking hookah with My bestest and drinking a tall boy of Budweiser.
Thinkin’ man I’ve been sober from marijuana 6+ months and everyday it gets harder and harder not trying to escape into the bits of conformity i normally would run and hide in to the clouds of. The moon is shining and I’m drowning but though my thoughts are consumed in this 24oz of false reality i can’t help but feel happiness in this emptiness.
11:11
19 de Mayo 2013
Why don’t I feel like i am EVER enough?!
Wtf is wrong with me goddang!
117 days of no marijuana. The addiction most face and avoid. I can’t say I don’t miss it as there are difficult days that’s arise with the distorted view of reality and urgent need to escape. The longer the days the shorter the spark. I, however, have grown tremendously in Self that I never knew I could regain. Voids of interal suffering, dwelling of past mistakes, sucked into a false blackhole with imaginary Spirit have resolved into retrospect a Woman of darkened tales lured into the Sun. I can no longer take for granted the Life I am and was Blessed to be living. Every reaction has led to an action of reason. Reborn into the present. The challenge of Ones demons. Give it a try and learn.
There’s so much talk about how to change the world, what should be done, what’s being done and so quick to judge and point the finger but the revolutionary step begins when You when you realize all fingers are pointed back at You! Youve consumed in your obliged doom actions are spoken louder then words, get up and away from your computer screen an do something about it! Let us please walk together ….
I am sorry
And that doesn’t seem enough :( I’m hoping to get sucked up in a black hole as I’ve already been consumed by darkness
That awkward moment when the Being You’re into introduces Themself to You and instead of saying You’re name You say I Love You and run away!
Every Morning that I am Blessed to see Our Sun shine and give Life to a New Day I am most Thankful and cannot help but give Praise to Our Father for such warmth and Love!
30 daze of no marijuana smoke
24 daze away from Marijuana;
I have a stomach virus and the only thing on my mind is loading my bong with some medical dank :(
This shit sucks!
When I was younger I was petrified of death; how one day everyone around me would succumb to it’s wrath and all of Life would continue on. I moved forward when I began to meditate and realized its not worth consuming My Being if I am alive and living now, it’s coming but who cares when; Carpe Diem.
Two daze ago I fell back into those thoughts and I didn’t understand why so I indulged in alcohol to escape for a few hours and when I closed my eyes for the night I dreamt of Celina. It’s been months if not a year since I last dreamt of Her, she was waking into the Light that time but in this dream She was older, dancing around an old friend Happy and at Peace. When I awoke I was so happy and grateful I was alive and full of Life I am living for Us both now. Yesterday, I dreamt of My Grandma; it’s been years since Ive dreamt of Her; tssss I cannot even begin to explain the void in My Being because She is gone. We were at a party drinking and having a good time! I held Her in my arms so tightly giving her beer after beer. I explained how much I’ve missed Her and she smiled the biggest I’d ever seen Her smile since I was born. I awoke feeling so grateful She existed in My Life; tho She’s not here physically She’s alive in My Heart and Being.
I cannot believe how easily death comes and goes without a moments notice but everyday I am grateful to be here even though I’m surrounded by constant grief and sorrow to be alive and existing for this moment is truly worth it all.
many things and beings taunting My Reality today with a distorted view. If ONLY I really knew, false perception is mass deception. All that is isn’t this. everything unfolds nothing is meant to hold.
